There isn't a word for everything.....
Sometimes so ignorant without any clue of what it is. So many words get lost. It isn't like that for everyone. I was never a woman of this ambition of finding it in the first place. A carefree soul who never felt that way.
The way one sees it, there isn't any bigger or more powerful thing than love itself.
For me, love was my mother welcoming me and hugging me after school, taking the heavily loaded school bag off of my shoulders to hers and taking me in her arms and cover me with kisses. She'd stroke my hair and would say 'bless you' whenever I'd sneeze. And when I used to get up to take my toy, she'd say Let me get that for you, she is always around and says 'I love you so much' with a peck on my cheek. I never bothered to acknowledge her but now that I have grown up I'd like to say: love me a little. As one day I'll go away from you for further studies, career or any other reason and going to miss your love badly.
Believe it or not it's not affection we have for someone that causes us to feel pain, but rather our inclination to how things should or shouldn't be. It's the notion we have in our minds what love should be like.
There is no one else other than her to whom I want to be answerable in life. Period.
As i grew up, I got to know the evolved meaning of love. I realized that part of me is breakable. For a long time I remained hollow from the inside. Months, maybe. And when at last it was filled again, you knew that the new feelings you felt for a man would have been impossible without HIM.
The first time he saw me, I looked no less than a 'jhalli'(messed up, no doubt in that). I still remember that eye contact when I had just met him. I wasn't sure of myself until he opened up to me(indirectly). Part of me thought: Please don't do this to me. If you don't, I can still turn away. And part of me thought: Look at me.
He adores me more than I could ever imagine. And I am sure of his love by the way he embraces me each time he sees me. His presence makes me more cheerful, hearing his voice is what i strive for all day long. Always creating things to surprise me to show his love for me is still impeccably strong. Moreover that one extra glance he gives when i go away from him even for a short period of time reassures me that I am special.
It's so necessary to understand that life is yours and yours alone. You are a separate entity who deserve to feel free, so is your partner. He is not obligated to do anything. If your spirits came together, they didn't come together for forever, but only for a while. And since you cannot know for how long you are meant to be together, the whole notion is to treasure each moment you spend next to each other and to love one another purely, truly. No boundaries and no sentimental bonding.
But sometimes things go wrong. Relationships go through hard times and ends, but that's not the end of your precious life and it surely shouldn't be the end of your loving life.
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